Quit Playin’: There Must be 50 Ways!

By Vincent Hall

There must be 50 ways to explain why all that love for Kamala Harris dissipated. This column needs to be longer to get to the 50 reasons, but I got a few. My headline is not original. “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover” was a 1976 Billboard-topping hit by Paul Simon. Folklorists and Baby Boomers that made it popular swear that the song is rooted in the divorce from Simon’s first wife, Peggy Harper.

A divorce of sorts can partly explain the loss the Democrats suffered on Tuesday. In 2020, Biden beat Trump with 81 million plus voters; Kamala lost to Trump after registering a mere 69 million votes. Trump lost one million votes, while the Democrats lost 12 million. That’s a divorce. What happened? Well, I have a few theories, and mine are probably about as valuable as the knucklehead opinion pimps you tune into on cable news networks.

Some of us are pissed that CNN and “Jake Snapper” led a calculated campaign to remove Joe Biden from the process. It was an orchestrated and coordinated coup. History will reflect that Biden is a great statesman and a sincere politician. Hooray for Kamala, but Joe didn’t deserve that. There’s plenty of blame going to a number of voter groups. Let’s begin with Latino males who, by way of exit polls, appear to be the first plaintiff group. They voted 65% Democrat in 2020, but just 53% last week. Democrats also lost White women and younger voters in terms of gross votes.

What we don’t fully know is which group in the Latino consortium defected and left the family. Latinos are as divergent in subgroups as Black people are in skin tone. Was it the East Coast Latino men or Southern? Were they Mexican, Cuban, or Puerto Rican?

Then there is the Evangelical Church. I don’t use the term Evangelical Christians because, frankly, their God ain’t my God. But let’s start with Donnie Swaggart and his assault on the “Black Church.” This term he used without pointing out the historical truth that the Black church was invented by the White church. White Christians did not allow Blacks in their church. And by the way, that’s also how we got Black colleges, Black music, and any other American institution that starts with Black.

What I don’t understand about Swaggart is how he is allowed to call out the Black church with Black folks sitting in his congregation. When the American media exposed his daddy’s fondness for prostitutes, the Black people in his congregation stood by him. But I guess Donnie doesn’t feel like he owes any allegiance to those same people.

And finally, to the dark truth…White folks are scared as hell! No pun intended. Not all of them, just the ones who enjoy the trappings of White privilege. Trump bragged about the “weave,” which he uses as a means of obscuring a natural cognitive decline that he suffers from. Like every other 80-year-old he suffers from CRS. (Can’t Remember Sh!t!) But when you “weave” the dark dystopian rhetoric he blended with a side order of hatred, fear, and grievance, you understand why Red State and rural voters get caught up. They actually believe that the “meth heads” they live with are less threatening than the “crackheads” living in the “urban jungle!”

Listen to the code. They are invading us. They are conquering small communities. They are spending your tax dollars on them. They are killing our citizens. They are rioting and taking over cities. They ruined Detroit. They are taking your jobs! But after the whimsical weave, he has one solitary answer. I can fix it. I can make America Great Again. I can defend you, and I will protect the women whether they want me to or not! White women in Blue State America were clutching their pearls, while White women in Red States were fastened to his every word and sentiment for dear life.

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover, but what we did to Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton before her was illogical and detestable. The only constant and saving grace in the entire analysis is that Black women stayed the course.

A long-time Texas Metro News columnist, Dallas native Vincent L. Hall is an author, writer, awardwinning writer, and a lifelong Drapetomaniac.