How To Talk About Suicide With Children?

By Dominique Lambright

Informing kids about suicide is difficult, but addressing their fears is vital.

Parenting makes it hard to express such a painful circumstance. Consider adapting terminology to your child’s age and cognitive ability, and be direct and honest with them. This article offers tips for discussing suicide with kids responsibly and conveniently.

A 2021 study by the International Association for Suicide Prevention predicts an estimated 703,000 annual suicides. Communication is a key preventative strategy, especially when opening the conversation with kids.

This issue seldom occurs until a specific circumstance prompts parents to discuss suicide with their children. This conversation is impending when a close relative commits suicide or attempts to, a child has heard the term but doesn’t know what it means, or the parents approach the child to discuss a topic connected to their current situation.

As with death, sexuality, and money, how we speak about suicide depends on the child’s age. 

Young Children

Young kids make up answers when they don’t receive one. They’ll develop an unreal and magical explanation method if they don’t grasp anything in their surroundings.

Mental Illness Research Education Clinical professionals emphasize avoiding overloading children with information. Paying attention to the child’s inquiries calmly and nonjudgmentally is key. Thus, you need not describe what occurred. Instead, let their inquiries lead your speech.

After introducing yourself, start with the facts: “I’d want to speak to you about what occurred with your uncle last night. He felt depressed and wounded. He’s receiving hospital care.”

Using child-friendly language is also crucial. Language should be straightforward. Use a gentle, calm tone of voice and approach them at

eye level to communicate effectively.

Let them express their sentiments and ask all the necessary questions, even unpleasant or painful.

Children Over 7 Years Old

Schoolchildren understand mental health difficulties. They gradually realize their own and others’ feelings. This might also make individuals feel guilty for not seeing a friend or family member’s emotional state sooner.

Support and reassurance that the kid is not directly to blame remain crucial in this situation. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network offers guidance for parents and caregivers to address suicide deaths with children. They warn that concealing a loved one’s suicide and stating they died might cause further issues.

Lying to a kid will make them doubt their carers. Grief includes good sadness. We must affirm the child’s feelings and support them through this tough period, not put them on the sidelines or prevent them from experiencing grief.

Other suicide discussion tips for schoolchildren:

• Let the kids express themselves in a quiet, comfortable location.
• Tell their instructors and administrators about the problem.
• Language should match the child’s age and comprehension.
• Communicate honestly without excessive visual descriptions.
• Give hugs.

Children Over 11 Years Old

Preteens and teens comprehend suicide and death. Thus, they require further specifics. They may ask different questions but keep them to themselves. People may feel ashamed to communicate their issues or sentiments with grownups.

The newest data alarms. According to the WHO, suicide is the fourth greatest cause of death for those aged 15-29. Similarly, the NASP (National Association of School Psychologists) reports that teenagers with suicidal thoughts seldom seek treatment directly.

Nevertheless, people express sadness via farewell letters or remarks like “I hope I fall asleep and never wake up again” or “I don’t want to live.”

Suicide and other mental health topics must not remain taboo. Communication is the greatest preventative method. Truths, no matter how sad, should not be hidden.

Clarity, Empathy, & Honesty

When discussing suicide with children, take into account their age and development. We may inquire, “Do they grasp the irreversibility of death?” and “Do they know what suicide implies, or is this the first time they’ve heard the term?”

We must modify our speech to their requirements while being straightforward, empathic, and honest. We need a warm, safe environment.

If we cannot handle this problem, seeking expert aid might be helpful. A psychologist or psychiatrist may tailor tools to your situation to help you cope.