By Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew
Columnist
Our culture has become obsessed with peering into the lives of others. Social media has given us easy access to those we admire, and we see their successes immediately on display. We are consumed in knowing about where they live, what they wear, and the places they visit. Even in perusing social media, we watch our friends celebrate. Then it begins. The act of complete betrayal. We compare ourselves to others creating these imaginary competitions that have unobtainable measurements. Iyanla Vanzant in Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything states “Comparison is an act of violence against the self. It also leads to judgments and jealousy of those we deem “better off” than we are. If we are not the ones doing the comparing, then we’re the ones against whom other women measure themselves. In either case, the comparison, judgments, and jealousy can lead to ugly behavior.” This ugly behavior isn’t always against others—it becomes a personal hell that we create for ourselves. It is so easy to doubt yourself. Even listening to others can really distract you from the vision God has given you for your life. You must be selective and careful of who you entertain because even their view could damage your possibilities. We now have more time online because of limited opportunities to go out or if you are working from home, it is even more convenient to become depressed and discouraged because your life doesn’t measure up to what you planned or expected. We must be so ever careful of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others or from a warped, distorted view of ourselves.
This problem is evident in the Bible. Moses sent out a group of spies to investigate. When they returned to provide a report to the people, they felt defeated. Numbers 13:31-33 tells the story: “But the men who had gone with him said, “We can’t attack those people! They’re too strong for us!” 32 So they began to spread lies among the Israelites about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored is one that devours those who live there. All the people we saw there are very tall. 33 We saw Nephilim there. (The descendants of Anak are Nephilim.) We felt as small as grasshoppers, and that’s how we must have looked to them.”” How often have we looked at others and saw ourselves as less than, questioning our abilities and even doubting what God says about us?
The Grasshopper mentality is real. We miss out on opportunities that are significant in our lives because of our perception. It’s time to recognize that God has something special for you and we cannot begin to compare or dismiss the work of others. We find ways to soothe our souls that are detrimental instead of focusing on the purpose and plan God has for our lives. It isn’t our job to wonder what others think about us. It’s our job to focus on how God sees us. Remember the old rearview mirrors that stated “objects in mirror are closer than they appear?” What we see isn’t always how things appear and when we judge ourselves by the standards of others, our fears become the giants in our lives instead of recognizing the giant within us. Once you recognize your own power instead of others, your perception will change. You will begin to understand that with God, anything is possible, and you can take on any challenge or giant that comes your way. When you really see who you are and understand whose you are, you can slay giants knowing the giant of a God you serve lives in you.
Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the author of three books and has recently launched the podcast, The Tapestry. Dr. Froswa’s Tapestry is about bringing people together to explore the rich, woven textures of our narratives. Our stories are impactful and in listening to the stories of others, we learn more about our own power, claim our purpose and pursue our passion. The fabric of our lives as women is strong, resilient and when we come together, we can make a beautiful piece of work to inspire, support and sustain our personal and professional lives. Visit https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-tapestry_1 to listen. Learn more about Dr. Froswa’ at https://drfroswa.com/.
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