Big Mama Said: Show Me Your Friends, and I Will Tell You Who You Are

One of the most well-known Spanish proverbs says, “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.” Big Mama didn’t speak Spanish, but she understood the message. She often warned, “Baby, if you lay down with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas.” Your circle reflects your character, your choices, and your values.

In today’s political landscape, this wisdom rings louder than ever. The recent presidential appointments under the current administration, including those with questionable backgrounds, make us wonder about the company our leaders keep. When individuals with histories of controversy or bias are elevated to positions of power, it forces us to ask: Do birds of a feather really flock together?

Then there are the pardons. These aren’t just slaps on the wrist; they’re get-out-of-jail-free cards handed to individuals convicted of some of the most egregious acts during the January 6th insurrection. Among them, a man convicted of murder—yes, murder. Big Mama would call that “throwing stones and hiding your hand,” letting people escape accountability while ignoring the ripple effects on justice and democracy.

And let’s not forget the targeted elimination of sanctuary cities and spaces—places that offer protection to some of the most vulnerable among us. Big Mama believed in protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. She’d ask, “What kind of friend stands by and lets harm come to their neighbor?”

When we look at these actions as a collective, the picture becomes clear. The alliances we build and the people we protect define our priorities and expose our principles. If leadership surrounds itself with chaos, lawlessness, and division, what does that say about who we are as a nation?

Big Mama’s wisdom isn’t limited to the dinner table. It’s a mirror to the values we hold—or fail to hold. So, as we move forward, let’s ask ourselves: Who are our friends, and what do they say about us?

As Big Mama would remind us of the incoming president’s famous line , “Stand back and stand by,” because she knew eventually, the truth always comes to light.