MY TRUTH: Talking about Gap Years

By Cheryl Smith
PUBLISHER

I’ve often said, “My grandchildren are the greatest. If I had known how great they would be, I would’ve skipped the middle men!”

Recently I watched women taking little children to the daycare. I watched as they lovingly dropped off their charges and I silently said a prayer and gave thanks for them being in the lives of their grandchildren.

Then I had to pause because history has taught me that all is not as it appears. I recalled mentoring three young men and assuming that one was being raised by his grandmother only to find out that she was actually his great-grandmother who had stepped in and was filling in the gap.

Which brings me to my truth.

During this Mother’s Day celebration, I want to salute our grand and great grandmothers.

We know they have always been there, stepping up and into situations that were not their responsibility; but out of love they prevailed.

I never had the pleasure of knowing the love of my mother’s mother but we spent several summers in Florida with my father’s stepmother (his mom died when he was an infant) and we were loved and disciplined, nurtured and taught. And she did it not because she had to or was trying to “keep them out of the system .”

My parents were there to help even when my brother and I ran up her phone bill calling friends back in New Jersey.

Daddy paid the bill and told us we “knew better.” If we had been back in Jersey when that bill came out, Mother would have whipped our butts!

HELP FOR THOSE HELPFUL GRANDPARENTS

According to AARP, more than 1 in 10 grandparents have a grandchild living with them and the U.S. Census in 2020 found 2.7 million grandparents are raising their grandchildren, up from 2.4 million in the 2000 Census.

Now we know there were serious issues with the 2022 census and Ann Pebley of Rand Corp. and Laura Rudkin of UT cite numbers that are almost double with more than 4 million children living with grandparents. They also point out that, “African American children are more likely to live with their grandparents. Black grandmothers historically have played a more important role than white grandmothers have in childrearing and maintaining extended family stability.”

Clearly grandparents are giving new meaning to the term “gap year,” with some seeing a year turn into a decade or more.

Long ago State Senator Royce West (D-Dallas) realized the importance of grandparents taking care of their grandchildren and authored a bill to offer assistance that would be for eligible grandparents and in addition to Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) grants for dependent children.

“These grandparents have become second-time parents, often while living on fixed incomes,” said Sen. West, almost 25 years ago. “I often get calls in my district office from grandparents asking me when will the State of Texas do something to help them with raising their grandchildren. These grandparents are committed to caring for their grandchildren and they are often called upon to step in to preserve the family.

“Senate Bill 1423 is a prevention and intervention bill that will preserve family ties.”

Sen. West should be commended for his visionary leadership.

Today, there is help from a number of agencies and they are to also be commended.
There also needs to be more assistance from the government, on so many levels. Grandparents and Great Grands should not have to dip into their savings or be living near the poverty level to get support.

BACK TO THOSE GRAND AND GREAT GRANNIES!

We must consider that these grannies and great grannies are keeping millions of children out of a seriously overtaxed and broken foster care system.

They are so special and we don’t say it enough.

Let’s face facts. After a certain age, keeping up with young charges is challenging. We shouldn’t make it harder for those who want to help.

Grands and Great Grands, you’re the greatest. Thanks for all you do.

I wish that we could do more for you because praise is not enough; although when you’re not getting anything else, a kind word is nice.

You are appreciated. For some children, you are all they have!

Happy Mother’s Day!