MY TRUTH: Dear…

By Cheryl Smith

So you think I am lame!

Some of you have challenged me on this proper attire issue. Some feel as though I was soft that I didn’t call a spade a spade, that I was worried about hurting feelings when many of the infractions are so egregious they should be called out. I hear you.

Some of you are not happy. You said I should have told these people off in royal fashion, chastising them for their inappropriate clothes, behavior and language.

You feel as though what people do in the privacy of their own homes is fine with you, but when they come outside, they become everybody’s business.

One person said, crack does kill and it also offends. While this reader was used to seeing drug addicts strung out on crack cocaine and also seeing the crack of the plumber’s behind as he worked at restoring order in your home; seeing someone’s crack in a restaurant or at a public gathering was a bit too much.

Another said there was a time that anyone could ride on a greyhound bus because it was inexpensive, therefore you got what you got in terms of attire. Today, however, flying on an airplane has definitely changed from a classy affair to a come as you are, how you are, and don’t worry about bathing or wearing suitable clothes.

Now what is suitable?

Good question!

Which brings me to my truth.

As I stated previously, there was a time when there was a time and place for everything,

Sure there was a time you could make some minor adjustment to your outfit at work and then you were camera-ready for the club.

But that time is passe.

Nowadays, the dress code policy is, “do you.”

So don’t get offended when you see butt cheeks, nipples, cracks and more; you name it!

They try to help out at school, telling young ladies to test the fingertip rule, meaning their dresses or skirts should at least come down to the end of their fingertips.

They also encourage men to pull their pants up, wear a belt and stop sagging. Can we agree that some things are not appropriate for all seasons, occasions and areas? Can we agree that less can be better and sometimes more is?

Do you think we can promote healthier lifestyles and a dress code that is suitable for anyplace, anytime, or anywhere; instead of saying, “enjoy the view, stretch marks and all?”

A comedian, Monique, used to criticize “skinny girls.”

What a difference a shedding of a few pounds could have on your life, as it did hers.

Now don’t get me wrong. All weight challenged people on both sides of the scale are not necessarily healthy.

We all need to check ourselves, inside and out before going “another further.” I don’t know about you but I don’t want to breathe heavily every time I walk up or down some stairs. I don’t want to have to apologize to my grandchildren because we have to slow things down so I won’t pass out.

What I need to be doing is realizing that I need to take off some weight, drink more water and walk a little. Let’s face it, excess weight is neither flattering or healthy.

So while people are getting bent out of shape when they overhear someone saying, “ooh wee,” I have to tell you that I don’t condone that behavior at all. It’s a very low blow when you take shots at someone about things they have no control over.

True they possibly may not have control over their weight ; but let’s be real and true to life. You do have control over what you put on your body as well as in it.

It seems what we need is to establish proper decorum. We need a better understanding of what is important and what’s not. We need to reestablish protocols and that is hard because people are so thirsty for attention, they don’t care about how they look or who they offend. Boundaries are important and everyone should follow rules.

There’s a great book to consider reading as you prepare for what you put in your body; “How to Eat To Live.”

I will take your suggestions on books to read about proper attire and dress codes.

Just know that you can continue to make excuses for not having some type of standard. If you want people to spend more time focusing on what you are wearing versus what you are saying, maybe it is because you are the ideal example of an impostor — you are using your looks as a distraction — a method of mass distraction that can only get you so far.

Think about what your message is, will or should be.

And again, If you Like it, I Love it!