BY DR. FROSWA BOOKER-DREW
I don’t watch much television, but stumbled across the show, Love Island. I have seen previous episodes and reminded myself why I don’t watch it. On this episode, there was a beautiful, dark-complected young woman with a short natural. She was cut from the show in favor of another female. I won’t get into the issue of colorism and standards of beauty because that could be a dissertation.
After the show, I spoke with a dear friend who was elated about seeing his pre-teen daughter. I haven’t seen her in a while, but he described her— she’s always been gorgeous. She’s a beautiful brown girl who loves to wear her hair natural and although some of those around her encourage her not to it doesn’t deter her.
I mentioned to him the importance, as a father, to affirm her beauty and to remind her that despite the beauty standard that the world has imposed on so many, she is wonderfully made in God’s image. Her beauty is beyond her looks. This child is brilliant, talented, and compassionate, too. Our beauty is more than what we look like. We mean much more to God than our appearance. I think we sometimes forget whose we are (children of God) and seek the adoration of the world to affirm who we are.
I remember when I first went natural nearly 20 years ago. I remember women approached me and said they wished they could do it but were afraid of the rejection and possible problems in the workplace. Although more women are natural and its commonplace to see products designed for our hair texture, we are still fighting battles to change the way God created us to please others.
In a world that is constantly reminding us that we can be taller, prettier, smarter, finer (and the list goes on), we must love who we are. There is nothing wrong with improvement and taking care of yourself. We should make sure that we are caring for this temple that God gave us.
Yet, when we feel that the temple must be altered to a point of no return or we are unrecognizable to fit in, it becomes an addiction for approval and acceptance. The truth is it is never enough. I think it is important to rest in who God says we are and not the world.
If you choose to make improvements, do it for you and not because you are seeking acceptance from those who really don’t matter. It’s important to know your value from the day you were conceived that God made no mistakes.
Beauty is more than our outer appearances. I’ve met some stunning women and handsome men with nasty attitudes. I’ve also met individuals who may not be on the cover of the latest Glamour or GQ Magazine, but they light up a room with their kindness, warm personality, and other attributes.
As much as we work on the outer appearance, we need balance. We must work on the inner man/woman as well. “3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4) The Bible reminds us of what is important to God: “…The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
If God were to look at you today, what would be noticed? Would your outer appearance overshadow the inner? Would God see the beauty of your heart, your soul, and your mind in addition to the care of this earthly temple? Or would God say, “17 Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor…” (Ezekiel 28:17 a)?
Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the host of the Tapestry Podcast and the author of three books for women. She is also the Vice President of Community Affairs for the State Fair of Texas. To learn more, visit drfroswa.com.
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