MY TRUTH: Dear…

College Freshman,

You’re either on your way to college or you’ve landed on the campus. This can be a very exciting and rewarding time. It can also be a horrible experience.

A lot will be determined by YOU!

Now I must tell you. I know this Dear… letter is going to be a series because there’s so much to share.

First I will say, you have to use each one of your five senses and you also have to rely on that elusive sixth sense – trust your gut. And the seventh sense -home training!

Some students arrive on campus with their parents or loved ones and this is great when possible, but not everyone has that opportunity. There are so many who arrive alone, and that can be frightening.

I had a family friend who was not the best role model for me by any stretch of the imagination. Actually I think if her people knew the stuff she was doing, they would have made her come home. So I found myself alone, fending for myself most of the time; because my sixth and seventh senses were working overtime.

Does that equate to me not making mistakes? Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Fortunately I met others who were a positive influence.

As a college freshman, I can remember seeing my classmates waiting in line to use the pay phone to call home.

Unlike today, everyone didn’t have a cell phone. Actually cell phones were not part of our reality back in the 1970s.

I watched young ladies crying, while begging the person on the other end to come and pick them up.

Homesickness was real. Still others were smiling and sounding upbeat and enthusiastic about the adventures ahead.

When I taught freshman orientation at Paul Quinn College, I had a syllabus and included of course, my unorthodox way of teaching.

Usually when I talk to incoming students, my ultimate goal is to help them navigate through what I call some of the best years of their lives.

I wanted to lay a foundation that would hopefully ensure that they conducted themselves appropriately in and out of the classroom as well as on and off campus. When I got to Florida A&M University, I was told that I was being prepared to survive everywhere, not just at FAMU.

I shared that same message with Paul Quinn students and I actually have the same mantra at I Messenger Media!

In class, I would begin by assigning students a few tasks. I needed them to learn the president of the institution and the dean of their department; learn the alma mater; and tell me where key buildings like the cafeteria, library, clinic, major class buildings and the gymnasium were located. I made them secure their degree plan so they could chart their path every semester.

The last thing I wanted to hear from them when someone asked, “when do you graduate,” was “Well, God Willing and the creek don’t rise…,” or “Hopefully…”

No, I needed to hear them saying something like, “Well according to my degree plan and my current coursework, I am prepared to graduate Spring…”

Which brings me to my truth.

The college years are so important and I want you to seize every opportunity to do something positive..

While at Paul Quinn, I would give students a sheet with every home-coming activity listed with a place for a signature of a faculty member. For every event that they attended and received a signature, the student would receive points toward the final grade.

My purpose was to engage the students in the homecoming process; hopefully building school awareness, pride and loyalty and also helping the students to be acclimated to campus life and hopefully develop school spirit.

With smaller schools this is especially important because alumni and all others need to see the healthy involvement of the students.

I really wish that parents wouldn’t let freshmen bring a car to school or live in an apartment.

At least for the freshman year, learn how to rough it. Too often I have observed students getting used and abused because they have cars. Who doesn’t want to befriend someone who has transportation?

Walk, take public transportation, or stay home.

Likewise, just because you have a bank account or nice things, don’t flaunt your blessings or let people take advantage of what you have. Try making friends not because of what you have or what you can do for them.

Yes, I understand that everyone is not a user but it only takes one misguided person to destroy a life. That is why it is important that you understand two things:

1. Everyone in your life is not there for a lifetime so be careful about doing permanent things with temporary people.
2. “NO” is a complete sentence. No need to feel guilty or provide an explanation. No means no and when you say “no,” make sure you mean it.

I’ve got more…

Look for the continuation next week!